I Fear Myself When I'm Mad

Anger.
It destroys everything in its path. When it eats me, I become destructive. I destroy everything blocking my way--people, things, and even myself. One of the people I fear most is myself possessed by the spirit of anger. I swear: I don't like myself when I'm mad.
People would usually mention about my blog being too belligerent, too foul, too negative... That's because it is one thing I barely release in person nowadays.
My blog had been the best catharsis of my existence.
Before, I used to not have any control about my temper. But even before being like that, I used to be a goody-goody. Well, it is evident until now if you were to meet me in person. The difference is that I'm bolder than who I was before.
When I'm mad, I throw anything my hand grips. I hit anything. I lose my self-control and I barely think. That is the reason why now I give a good chance for myself to think about stuffs first before reacting like an apparition of The Hulk. I learned the art of patience.
I think a lot about things---the reasons for why this and that happens, I consider and reconsider stuffs... I just have to control myself. But I have no idea about the limits of my patience.
It explodes without warning like a volcano.
There re times my peers would usually notice the way I maximize my voice (even at times I'm not really mad at all!!) when I speak. Sometimes, I roll my eye unconsciously. Usually, I spit out counter attacks like vomits of fire.
Another thing I hate about being like this is that some people become too safe to me. Sometimes they don't feel like talking to me because, I guess, they're frightened or something. And it's a bothersome feeling. I still prefer people who would come up and face me rather than those who keep quiet but has negative thoughts (or talks) about me---oh, such people who stinks like their ass!!! ....... sorry..
Don't worry, I'm not really that evil. Actually, I like a lot of stuffs as much as I hate a lot. So, don't be afraid of me--no, not yet...
Fear me when I'm mad.
Seriously.